I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
