I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
