Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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