how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You did what with his pubic hair?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize