what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
