Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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