Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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