i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
