Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize