At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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