She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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