If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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