I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
