you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
