my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize