Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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