it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
