I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
