I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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