these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize