You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
