Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
