Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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