that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
