fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize