So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
