So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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