have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
