Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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