Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
