i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
