I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
