So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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