So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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