Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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