i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
