she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
