? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
