I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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