NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
