Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
