i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
