...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
