Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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