the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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