u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize