Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
