you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
