I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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