This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can't talk, ducks in the car
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
