I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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