I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
