just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
