i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
