Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
