I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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