I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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