He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
