I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
