we're blogging at a bar
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
