We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
