Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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