Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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