I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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