just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
